Dear Elbie #3

Dear Elbie,

Today has been a bit of a roller coaster and if I’m honest you scared the shit out of daddy and I. Sorry for swearing chicken but that is exactly what you did. You had a very unsettled night and had me up at 3am including the need for a bath at 4am but I now know why. You were poorly.

You got to experience your first ambulance ride this morning but also hopefully your last. You managed to fall asleep on me in the back of the ambulance and I couldn’t take my eyes off you. I knew you were going to be OK and that it wasn’t anything serious but I had this overwhelming feeling of love and the need to protect you. You are so tiny and vulnerable and so unbelievably reliant on us which both fill me with terror and pride at the same time. You are our whole world and here you were all snuggled in my lap exhausted and sick. All I wanted was to have the ability to take it away and make you better but all I could offer you were safe arms to hold you in and a whole lot of love. I’m hoping this was enough and the paramedics, doctors and nurses picked up the rest.

You are now home and I am feeling extremely grateful. Tonight you are going to be smothered with kisses and cuddles whether you like it or not.

Love mummy xx


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